Poet to Poet:
"How are you going to vote?"
"Early, and often."

More Poetic Justice

Quebec Referendum, Liberals were sighing,
Chrétien to the rescue: let's get the flags flying.
We gave a few million to friends no denying,
But damn the taxpayer; the Liberals are buying.

The Adscam debacle, the Libs claim its petty.
The Auditor General and Gomery prying,
Grits throwing money just like its confetti,
A billion a day and the Liberals are buying.

Dear Pally- Advice for the Lovelorn

Martin tells Canada he loves her.

Canada has heard this before. This is a pick up line. Canada has been hurt before when she fell for these flirty words. If Paul Martin wants a long-term relationship with Canada it will require more than words. It will require a genuine commitment.

If he loves Canada he will;

1. Make Andre Ouellete pay his taxes.
2. Make the David Dingwall severance deal public
3. Stop giving his Liberal pals patronage posts
4. Sue the Liberal party and find out where the missing $40 million went

And if he really, really loves her he'll fly the Canadian flag on his steam ships.

Otherwise, he's just after a one-night fling and we still feel pretty cheap about buying his love lines last time. This time we're a little older and a little wiser. In the last courtship Paul promised to change and Canada bought it, forgetting that after the wedding, men seldom do. We won't be fooled again.

Thoughts on Carolin'

Winter is coming, Christmas is near,
The anti-American carollers cheer,
Damning those Yankees with all that they've got,
Carolin' carolin'; Perish the Thought

The carollers sing out the simplest of tunes,
All Yankees are stupid, war-mongering loons.
Never thinking that they're the best friends that we've got,
Carolin' carolin'; Perish the thought.

Their soldiers, their firemen, had husbands and wives,
They stood up for freedom, they paid with their lives,
But the Anti-Americans have already forgot.
Carolin', carolin'; Perish the thought.

Canadian farmers cannot sell their beef,
Too much is their cattle ,too much is their grief.
But the Liberal relief plan is to let them smoke pot,
Carolin', carolin', Perish the thought.

What the carolers chant is unwise and untrue,
To quiet them only some duct tape would do.
But the PM needs all of the Friends that he's got.
Even Carolin', carolin', Perish the Thought

Liberal Bump & Grind

A Cabinet Minister is aahing and oohing,
Romanian stripper could be her undoing,
Biggest story in this town,
Gonna get a dressing down,
Termination has been signed,
It's the Liberal Bump and Grind.

We need new Canadians, she has the answer.
You can become an exotic dancer.
And if you're a LIBERAL volunteer
She's gonna let you stay right here.
Step up to the front, all the others won't mind.
It's the Liberal Bump and Grind.

You might be a doctor or a nurse,
Improve your chances by stripping first.
Chemist or engineer, heavy or gaunty
Your chances expand if you do the full Monty.
But don't let them touch you or else you'll get fined.
It's the Liberal bump and grind.

She isn't quite sure if she's coming or going.
Her cover's been blown and the naked truth's showing.
Doing partisan favours has led to a bashin'
You can't jump the queue in the name of compassion.
It's time for the PM to make up his mind.
It's the Liberal Bump and Grind.

Just Another Ding in the Wall

Our Limousines are chauffeur – driven
The Challenger is near our home
High on the Hill is where we're living
Hey Tories; leave us Grits alone
All in All its just another DING in the WALL

The people can't get in our golf club
We can have them buy the balls
They'll clean our shoes and pay the tab then
Hey Tories; leave us Grits alone
All in All its just another DING in the WALL

Golfing With Gomery

We watched as Judge Gomery said not a peep,
While Jean deftly juggled his balls in his hand,
The former PM showed the meaning of cheap,
A petty and tacky, inelegant man.

Then came the new guy: once Treasury Board Chair,
The question, "That money, now where did it go?"
"I saw nothing, heard nothing, I wasn't there."
And one never asks if they don't want to know.

Golf Amateurs do it, but Pros never try,
The Liberal game is improving your lie.

Jean meddled with BDC loans-we know why,
Sacked the president; he would have followed the rules,
But now the Shawinigan Street Fighter Guy
Claims that ADSCAM was "hands-off" and takes us for fools.

The PM, a detail man when things go well,
Micro-managed his way to the top of this town,
But when leadership's needed, he hides in a shell,
Knowing you cannot prove what is not written down.

Golf Amateurs do it, the Pros never try,
The Liberal game is improving your lie.